This weekend my high school class celebrated 40 years. We had a fun time, and today a few of us met for lunch, to get just a bit more visiting in and so two who couldn't make it on Saturday could see one lady who lives in Arizona.
I've really been doing a lot of remembering and thinking, thanks to this weekend. We had one girl in our class who was a holy terror. From the first grade on, she bullied me, and judging by the comments today, a few others. I hold no grudge-I'm sure the reason she was the way she was had something to do with either her home life or maybe a chemical imbalance. She actually came to the reunion, but it's pretty obvious life has done a pretty good job of crapping on her.
I left high school and got married about a month after school started in my senior year. I went to another high school for a while, but my high school diploma came in the form of a GED. I even went to college for a while and have taken lots of community classes.
Seeing this lady and remembering all the things she did were actually very freeing because now I realize that nobody can make me a victim like that unless I give them permission. Even though the bullying lasted 11 years, I never took ownership of being the victim. She was very reluctant to talk to me and I think it had to do partly with guilt, but also with the fact that I came out just fine, and she is stuck in her dysfunctional life. I don't think she's matured past junior high.
It was very eye-opening to hear others talk about being bullied by her. If I'd known this before I probably would have enjoyed high school more and probably wouldn't have dropped out.
But if I hadn't dropped out I wouldn't have married Stan, or had my three terrific sons, or all those darling grandkids, so life does have a way of working itself out.
And even though I knew it, it was nice to be reminded that this person has no power over me.